Hmmm, I'm feeling a 3 word story comin' on.

[JackGordon]

Thus annihilating all

[Forum N¡nja]

living creatures in

[Brackstone17]

the glorious Candyland,

[One of Seven]

including Shelly. Tharpa

[Forum N¡nja]

then quickly realized

[JackGordon]

that happy hour

[One of Seven]

was over. He

[Forum N¡nja]

then walked into

[One of Seven]

Dunk n' Donuts

[Forum N¡nja]

and asked for

[JackGordon]

Michael Jackson, but

[Forum N¡nja]

he got a

[One of Seven]

hobo named Steve.

[Bevacur]

Bevacur met Kane

[Forum N¡nja]

before he was

[gnrGrievous]

Resurected By Me ...

[gnrGrievous]

For like ... twice ? ...

[gnrGrievous]

. . .

Kane and Lynch stumbled on a box of explosives somewhere in mexico on way to the7's little hacienda, but then, Lynch spilled his pills and Kane said: "Look pills here!".
Suddenly a giant mexican chihuahua attacked.
Expertly, Kane threw the innocent people at the beast, killing it. Lynch on the other hand was trying to remember what was for dinner. Kane and Lynch highfived eachother, exclaiming "We're ***ing awesome!".
Then Lynch remembered something was missing, he had forgotten he missed House, the Television show. His favorite episode that Kane had recorded on DVR to watch later, but Kane missed to press the Daylight saving time button on the DVR's settings, deleting his porn collection that he had wanted desperately to sell on ebay, because he liked the money more than the honeys.

Because the honeys Always try to attack Lynch's pills.

. . .

Kane and Lynch got on a massive bananna boat heading toward the underground parking lot. Suddenly, a naked hobo named Steve viciously attacked Kane, then Lynch came and beat him with a servingtray. Kane grabbed a pair of socks ,screaming "I WILL Make you smell my dirty socks" grabbing the hobo and put his head in the toilet and pressed the flush lever, screaming "You're gonna end up like something that rhymes with, with, MIMES!".
Then Kane ripped off all his clothes and said "They are here!", so both men grabbed two toys made of silicone, but they burst into schizophrenic flames, setting the hobo on fire. Lynch however swallowed a marshmallow, thinking it was actually a swedish fish, but Zoloft pills and it was actually a viagra pill. But it didn't work.
So he went into a coma because he had Vodka earlier and overdosed on Calpol as he jumped on top of a burning teddy bear because of his hatred for the bear of the north where unicorns talk and hobbits dance to the music Baltimora- Tarzan Boy.

However the unicorns did not like smurfs as they ate all their so he pulled
One of Seven: Okay guys we need a fresh start. Kane and Lynch
I am kane: ok heres a fresh start. kane yelled so
One of Seven: (I already said Kane and Lynch)

Note: "had Vodka earlier" was JediMunchies' One and Only post in the eidos forum , his irreplacable contribution was of great value for this madness , and should not be ignored ...

. . .

Kane and Lynch decided to have some McDonalds, so Kane starts yelling "Feed me fatty!". Lynch then grabbed a big mac and choked on freakin' sesame bun
*a week later , looks around , completely deserted room*
Grievous: How did this happen ? this was The most successful topic that didn't involved Trailers or News discussion , and all of a sudden everyone just stopped posting ? ... Back on topic ...

But suddenly, a Jeff Gerstman appeared and stroked Lynch who starts complaining about the review, and Jeff admits that he had not completed the entire first season of House MD.
Lynch, now horrified grabs a Mossberg and shoved it deep in the Big Mac's Meat. Kane then attacked a bad reviewer and showed him Kyle Ward's script. Jeff then cried, but it was too late, so he sucked Lynch's shotgun barrel.
But suddenly, Larry King starts singing Amazing Grace. Kane throws his socks at a statue made of freeze dried liver. Lynch however thought that Jeff was a troll but he himself disliked Jeff anyway, so they took Jeffy out back and shot him in the mouth. But aliens took over the planet, and took Kane's nippletassle's causing Kane to fling feces at a little kitten

Note: the last few entries were spread about five days a week each ...
*about a month and a week after the last entry*
Bevacur: Since Nick suggested to try and keep ourselves amused, i thought i would bump this thread. Bumpity bump.

But aliens took over the planet, and took Kane's nippletassle's causing Kane to fling feces at a little kitten who only smiled like me! Suddenly, Danes arrived sniffing a dirty nappy which belonged to mister Cheese Junior. But he was so damn silly as he swallowed Kane's push blade his arse exploded!
Suddenly a suspicious moustache grew from his girl friends chin. Kane attacked a little kitten and lost. So, He Found GOD hiding under his shoe, Kane was now Jewish. Lynch who had a friend in Hezbollah who enjoyed eggos ate waffles, which contradict the fate of Muhammed. Kane released a powerful Kamehameha at the mall, where Shelly was buying shoes.
Thus annihilating all living creatures in the glorious Candyland, including Shelly. Tharpa then quickly realized that happy hour was over. He then walked into Dunk n' Donuts and asked for Michael Jackson, but he got a hobo named Steve.

Bevacur: Bevacur met Kane
Forum Ninja: before he was
*a month and a week later*
Grievous: Resurected By Me ...
*two weeks later*
Grievous: For like ... twice ? ...

. . .

*nearly four months later* ...

Grievous: So , who's going to buy the rights for the "Three Words Stories: Kane & Lynch Edition - The Movie" ? ...