Re: ... Let's all go raiding instead!!
so where are we going? yeah raiding!
can we go somewhere different..how bout Alantis??
or maybe not..nevermind
In a large castle on a mountain in the tallest room of the tallest tower. lara chained to a wall...
Lara: what do you want!
Blue fire: Ahhaahaha!! You are very important to me lara. Your an asset to my plan.
Lara: Which is?
BF: Ahhahahahaaa!! Do you really want to know.. very well then. You shall be sacrificed on the on the 100 day of the millionth year since I have been put into this state. You see lara. millions of years ago I ruled this pitful planet. But somehow the mages in the world trapped me into this form. The prophecy proclaims that the one, the only, the chosen one can set me free. Lara you are the chosen one. You see... it was your ancestors that trapped me here. Ahhahahahahaaa!!!
BF:The hunredth day is exactly 3 days from now.
Lara: You'll never pull it off, my friends will save me.
BF: Do you really think they will make it, across the firey plains, in the depths of the swamp, across the Damned mountains in three days. AHHHAAAHAHAHA!!!
Meanwhile back at the posse;
TTL: so what to do now?
Dgx: we shall find Lara then go home adn drink beer till we drop!
Prelude: Im up to that...so where is Lara
*all of a sudden lightning flashes and creepy music come on*
Beks; hey where's that music coming from?
*group looks around but finds nothing*
Aquarius: so lets go..we should take the helicopter to that castle up there..i guess thats a good place to start.
*we take the helicopter up the mountain where the castle sits. Thanhkim who is ont he controls lands the helicopter 15 feet away from the castle*
Dagger: well lets go..guns out maybe?
Stevo: Yeah..its gonna be a long way up.
*we continue up the steep 15 feet climb up*
(i think we are still using the same people correct? )
(Yes, All the same people)
As they start climbing up they see the flame.
BF: FOOOOLLSS!!! You will NEVER save her. AHHAHAHAHAAA!!
then a swarm of skeleton warriors start towards the group.
Stevo: What do we do, we can never outrun them.
Prelude: maybe there is something in my backpack.
TTL: Here.. I'll go through it
... what's this? it looks like a ball of jello?
Prelude: oh yea.. I forgot about that. It's a teleporter.
Stevo: You have a teleporter?
Prelude: yea but it teleports to random places and only works once and it teleports you hundreds of miles from its starting location.
Dagger of Xian: WHO CARES USE IT NOW!!!
They use it and get teleported to....
.......some unknown village north of nowhere in an Italian Pizza Bar
The gang all look at Prelude
Prelude: Oh yeah, did I forget to mention I kinda have it tuned in to restaurants
Aquarius: Oh for god sake prelude!
TTL: Ok I suggest we try and find out where we are
Dagger: Agreed let’s go
Prelude: Hey Guys, you know, what’s the rush, I mean, you know as we’re here, we may as well, you know, have a bite to eat, maybe a beer….or two….
The gang all look at Prelude
Prelude: Oh come on, can’t you just smell that food, huh, doesn’t it make you hungry?
The gang still stare at Prelude
Prelude: Well, it makes me hungry
Dgx2001 issues a punch to Preludes stomach
Dgx: Still hungry?
Dgx: Good, lets go
It can't rain all the time...
we hike for a couple of hours and when it starts to get dark, camp out in the middle of nowhere.
I am looking through my binoculers at the giant mountains which we got teleported away from, while the others are setting up camp.
Me: My god, dont see how we'll make it up there alive. Hey guys, come look at this!
I point to the mountains in the distance, surround by lava lakes, swamps, and the rocky countryside.
Prelude: Thats a long way away.
Thanhkim:I shall brave anything to rescue lara!
She starts running off like an idiot towards the mountain.
I grab her and yank her back
Me:Cool it, Thanhkim, your value of friendship is running away with your head!
Beks: Should we hit the hay? im sleepy
The posse: Yea!
BF:Muhahahaha.. Your pitiful band of mercenaries must have been teleported 3 million miles away! Face it lara, you cant win!
Lara: You underestimate us, youll regret it!
BF:Im so sure... MUahaha
Life is but a dream......
I wake up early and start packing up camp. I say folks lets go we don't have much time. Making our way we come to an old man standing in the middle of no where. He says friends I am a wizard and I will help you. I give to you three magic items to help you save your friend. And three powers to also assist you... they are.....
Last edited by thanhkim; 09-03-2002 at 12:54 AM.
Wizard guy:Fire, Water, Strength, are to assist you
and *looks in pocket* I ahve a chain, a grappling hook gun, and a trampalean to help save your friend. oh and to add..here is the power of flight..just eat one of these pills and you will be able to fly for over 2 hours. Good luck!
*Disapeers in a large poof*
TTL: what was that all about?
Thanhkim: dunno but lets take these balls of goo, look there is enough for all of us..lets pack these things up.
*we pack the balls of goo and a samll prtable tampalene i our packs.*
Beks: so lets continue.
*we continue hiking up for half the day..the sun begins to set, we are forced to make camp*
Thanhkim: Lets make camp and sleep quick for larie dear does not have much time!
Dgx: whats for dinner tonight?
Aquarius: same as always, re fired beans and vegetarian sausages.
DoX: iw ould kill for steak and rice and..
Prelude: and cream cakes and cherry bakewells and...
*we continue saying food until...*
Last edited by Solaris; 09-04-2002 at 07:55 AM.
Everyone except me falls asleep. I crawl into my sleeping bag, but after an hour im still awake. I deicide to look into this on my laptop, and sure enough i found out this BFs plot. i immediatly get my stuff together.
Its 1:00 am and the rest of the gang are sleeping like logs.
Me: The guys will never get up in time! I cant wait for them to get up! The merger begins at 4:00 in the afternoon! We have no time!
I collect my pack and guns, and set out to the giant mountain....
Meanwhile, the wizard watches in the distance.....
Wizard: Good Luck. heh. he'll need it....
Life is but a dream......
Happy to be exploring again.....
Stop's running upon reaching thread. Pants, "phew, made it! I'm back from seeing Benedict lecture at Keswick! yeahy! What a guy... anyway BTW Thanks for including me in the latest episode
dgx2001 is lauching out alone on the mountain when from out of the darkness is heard a loud gasp and "Oh no!"
dgx2001 rushes round the corner to see me curled up reading Benedict Allen's 'Edge of Blue Heaven'.
I look up, suprised to see dgx2001.
dgx2001: "What's up, what's the matter?!..... and I thought everyone was asleep?"
Me: "Sorry, I couldn't sleep so I started reading."
dgx2001: "So what's the problem?"
Me: "It's so sad, the two horses and Top Camel have just died and Freddie won't be able to make it to the Gobi after all, and it's sooo sad, and then Kermit wanted to eat the other horse he had to sell on, and it's soooooo sad!!!! .....and then the locals were/"
dgx2001: "Alright, alright, so long as I got up for something important"
Me: "Sorry, you wern't sleeping were you?" notices dgx2001 is all packed up, "hum, sleep-hiking perhaps?"
dgx2001: "No, actually I was trying to find out something on BF on the internet."
Me: "You're in the middle of nowhere and you're on the internet?!" pause, "...you know when Benedict wants to know something he asks the locals..."
dgx2001: "Just stop right there! You have noticed we're somewhat lacking in the local inhabitant spotting department, right?"
Me: "What about the wizard guy?"
dgx2001: "humm.... he doesn't count."
Me: "Well, what if Prelude's drinking songs scared them away? Perhaps we should try looking now?"
dgx2001 shrugs, "suppose so".
and we get up to leave.
Me: "So where were you off to anyway..?"
dgx2001: "the merger starts at 4:00"
Meanwhile back at the camp in the early morning darkness....
Last edited by THE True Lara; 09-03-2002 at 10:53 PM.
Glad to see you back TTL!
Mean while back at the campsite, Beks and Prelude are one of the first ones to wake.
Beks: Its so early *yawns*
Prelude: So what are we going to have for breakfeast *rubs hands together* we should wake everyone up.
Beks and Prelude shout till there lungs are out of air..the rest of the posse wakes up.
DoX: why the hell did you have to shout???
Aquarius walks over to the food pack and sees there is only a few measly vegetarian sausages in the pack.
Aquarius: well, i guess we have to have one each and thats it.
Prelude: OOOOOHHH NO! its not gonna be like last time when you ate my sausage!*snaps fingers in an attitude way*
Aquarius and Prelude begin to argue over who's sausage it was when suddenly...
Is anybody out there i dont want to post 2 plots!
wonder..what time is it in england when its 5m here??
so i know..like whats the time difference form N.Y. to England??
Dagger says….. ‘hey guys, what’s the time?’
Prelude: Time to eat!
Aquarius: Prelude dose everything revolve around food with you?
Prelude: No not everything…well maybe…yes
Stevo: Hey guys, where’s Dgx and TTL?
Prelude: Maybe they ate each other
Dagger: That’s silly, how could they eat each other? They could only get so far and then there would be bits left…..
Stevo (interrupting) Yeah we get the picture
Aquarius: So where are they then?
TK: Maybe they went on ahead to save Larie, we should go and catch them up
Beks: Maybe they went home, lets go see
TK: Nooooo we have to save Larie
Beks: She’s a big girl, she can take care of herself, besides I’m bored
Just then it starts to rain……Prelude goes into a fit.
Prelude: Nooooooo not rain, it can’t rain, (she throws a tantrum)
Aquarius: Chill out, it just rain
Prelude: But it’s put the fire out and now we can eat
Stevo: That’s weird (looking up)
Dagger: What’s weird?
Stevo: The rain, where’s it coming from, there’s no clouds
The gang stand looking up into the rain, except Prelude who has sat down and is pouting and thumping the ground, when the gang look around again Thanhkim has disappeared.
Aquarius: How where’s she gone?
They look into the distance to see Thanhkim walking away
Stevo: Hey wait up
The gang ran after her.
Prelude: Guys…guys…(calling after them) does this mean we’re not having breakfast?????
It can't rain all the time...
Thankhim was running at something.
Prelude: what stevo?
Stevo: We don't have time to chase her.
Dagger of Xian: Why not.
Then they see dgx2001 run towards them from the distance.
Dgx2001: Hey guys I found a shaman to help us. C'mon
Stevo: We must hury, the merger is at 4:00
Dgx2001: How'd you know that?
Stevo: uhhh, iiii uhhh?
The True Lara gets up into his face
The True Lara: Are you playing us Stevo
Stevo: uhhhh... heheh... HAHAAAAAAHAAAA!!!!
Then right before their eyes stevo turns into the blue fire.
BF: Ahahahahahaaa!!! Stupid fools. You got me this time.. but next time you won't
The Dagger of Xian: Where, where is stevo
Meanwhile at the castle...
Stevo is hanging by his arms over high above lara and the blue flame
Lara: LET HIM GO!!
BF: Oh lara, he's the first. You see I'll be very hungry once I kill you.
Stevo: Ah! Ugh! Help meee!!
We meet up with the shaman, whos really the wizard. He explains that the BF is really another wizard named Kran.
Thanhkim: Then why did he kinap Larie, if hes really not trapped in a BF state?!
Wiz: Your friiends ancestors banned his evil minions into a sacred book, the Her'lash. Since he cannot find the book, hes trying a more direct method. By draining Lara's life force into his own, he can finally have the power to release his minions from the book, and rule the planet, perhaps even the universe.
Me: ill do some observation on the castle.
Aquaris: ill come too.
While the others keep talking with the wizard, me and aqauris look at the castle through our binocs.
Me: What the...?????
Aquaris: what is it?
Me: Look.... A CASINO?!OUT HERE?!
Aquaris : ill tell the others.
I look through my binocs and notice what looks like a door to a dungeon with a guard outside. I go around to the other side of the castle, and sure enough, inside that room is Steveo, Lara... and 2 more guards. Lara sees me and gives me a "thank god ure here" look. I give her a "ill come up with a plam" look.
I look on the net, and find out somethiong about this casino out in the middle of no where. Something clicks in my head.
Me: i have a plan! haha!
Me: wanna go over it again?
Beks: Why? everyone know what they have to do right?
TTL:Its pretty simple.
Thanhkim: We cant screw up! go over it again!
@Beks: It all begins with you. Distracting Kran so he dosent go into the casino, or the dungeon.
Meanwhile, I will be laying down some heavy bread at the crap tables. Enough to draw a crowd, and keep attrtion away from the dungeon.
Aqauris: Where are we gonna get that kind of money?
Me: I saved a lttle up for a rainy day.
Every day at 3:50, Al, one of the guards in the dungeon, calls home. He never varies his routine, hes always gone for 10 minutes, every day.
And the other guard in the dungeon, Howard, orders a drink.
@TTL: Which is where you come in.
You act as a waitress, but on the way, You stop at table 3 and hand a drink to Prelude,
@Prelude and u slip a bit of ifphakeg into Howards
@TTL:You give Howard the drink, and leave.
@DofX: Then you rush up to the outside guard, and say that Aquaris has stolen your chips.
@Aqauris:You play innocent
You guys need to keep the guard away from that door for at least 2 minutes.
When he take a sip of his drink, Howard will fly out of that dungeon at warp speed.
@Thanhkim:Then you go in and rescue STeveo and Lara.
When you guys get out of the room into thecasino, dont talk to anyone, dont even look at anyone. Just get out.
After you get out, theres no life force to drain from Lara, everything turns to normal, and we break open to champange.
Prelude:sounds good to me!
TTL:WHen do we pull off the caper?
Me: 3:45, so get ready.
Life is but a dream......
Last edited by dgx2001; 09-04-2002 at 09:23 PM.
What's my job..
Prelude: Who's job?
BF: MINE!!! HAHAHAHAAA!!!!
Dgx2001: Oh crap!
Then a group of his armed minions come and captures our heroes and bring them to the sacrificial pit where Lara and Stevo is. As they come in they can't even look at Lara because they failed. With their heads down, they were all chained up to the wall.
Beks: Sorry Lara..
With Lara tied on the sacrificial pit, stevo hanging in the air, and everyone else tied up to the wall. It looks pretty grim for them. But...
(if anybody wonders there is a walkway along the sacrificial fire pit)
Lara: your still underestimating us!
*Thunder and Lightning rumbles outside*
Bf/Kran: Well we shall see wont we? at 4:00 a.m. tonight i shall set all of you a flame to roast MUHAHAHAHAHAill eat you , then save a bit of room for dessert......MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA*cough, cough* HAHAHAHAHAH!
BF/Kran: say goodbye to each other it shall be your last session together.
*BF/Kran leaves room*
Prelude: Great hes gonna eat me first since im filled with the good stuff, like cream cakes, mmmm cream cakes
Aquarius: Prelude how can you be thinking of food now! We are tied up with a pit of fire under us..geez cant you ever take a hint not to start
Lara: Okay shutup you two! now this reminds me..if we to Try to cut are selves off of here we cant fall through the pit of fire.
Thanhkim: But how can we fall through fire larie dear? we shall certaniley burn.
Dgx: No we wont..because underneath there must be water...well maybe. Its a huge risk Lara.
DoX: and how exactly are we gonna get *looks up at her chained hands*down?
Beks: wait guess what!
TTL: what Beks?
Beks: Dino! hes the only one not here.
Stevo: sooo?? you expect a rubber toy to..
*He was suddenly cut of short by....*
Last edited by Solaris; 09-05-2002 at 11:58 AM.
just wrote a post but the stupid IE wiped it when had to go back, and I'm now too angry to try and remember it all a plague o'er your house Bill Gates!
Let's try again, shall we......
...BF starting the count down, the numbers interspersed with maniacal laughter... we all stare at the huge luminous clock face on wall......
when above the din is heard a hysterical sound...
the group look and see me sobbing incontrollably!!!:
"I don't want to die!!! It's too much!!!! I can't take this anymore!!! There's been To many Simmons!!!! and now I won't even live to see Benedict Allen again on Sunday....... and I've already bought the tickets!!!!!"
All look at me appaullled,
Dino seeing the distraction has worked leaps at the chance, throwing himself around BF's blue flamey neck!
Beks: "Dino, NNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
As BF stumbles ound the cave trying to remove the heroic rubber ring from around his neck he bumps into several of the switches convinently lining the cave wall. Opening random doors, and.... wait for it.... the shackles that bind our little group.
"Quick, move it everyone while we've got a chance!" Lara yells!
and the group rush out the nearest exit,
"come on, he's sacrificed himself to save us all..." dgx2001 says, practically having to drag poor Beks. " and if we don't go now we'll be late for the merger..."
After running for a moment, we round a corner and stop to gather what wits we have.
Before us are a hidous amount of exits, like a giant rabbit warren.
"Oh great" say's Prelude, "No pubs!"
"Cheer up we'll find one soon, I'm sure. You'll be fine 'til then, right?" I say cheerily,
"You might..." grumbles Prelude.
Dagger of Xian: "Hey wait a minuet, a momnet ago you were all hysterical...?"
Me: "Oh, I'm sorry, didn't you realise?"
DoX: "Realise what?!?"
Me: "It was all an act! I saw Dino indicate he needed a disraction, and tried my best to oblige. I thought it was pretty good myself....."
Prelude: "Beer is good...."
dgx2001: "So all that stuff about dying and things... they were just lies..?
Me: "Well, sort of, of course, if I actually thought I was going to miss Benedict this weekend I'd have killed BF myself!"
Aquarius: "You're just a little bit obsessed aren't you...?"
Me: "I am not! I refrain from using the word obsessed! I just appriciate the work he does!"
Prelude: "I appriciate the work beer does....."
Me: .." and anyway, you can't be obsessed with someone who's 14 inches taller than you..."
DoX: "Why not?"
Me: "Cos it give you neck ache! ...always trying to stare up at them when they walk past you in a crowd, the chiropractor bills are horrendous... eh hem...."
"Right, anyway......" begins Lara, casting her eye around the numerous different pathways we could take " We need a plan of action, and ideas?"
Me:" Well, when Benedict...."
Lara: "Do you mind!!! I'm the explorer on this trip, thank you!"
Me: "erm, sorry...."
Lara: "thoughts, anyone?"
Prelude: "I'm hungry!"
DoX: "I'm cold!"
Beks: "I'm traumatised!"
"Oh come on you guys, snap of it!" Lara says beginning to get annoyed. "why are you all getting so depressed all of a sudden?!!!?!"
"I think we sould make plans fast." Aquarius trys to interject, "I have a feeling this is all far from over...."
Me: "I have a feeling I'd like to go see..."
Lara: "zip it!"
dgx2001: "hummmmm.... why IS everyone getting depressed all of a sudden...? It's as if a cloud of sorrow and self pity has decsended over the cave...... almost as if we were all working in accountancy......hummm......."
..........."poor Dino," murmurs Beks.......
..........."poor beer," murmurs Prelude.......
Last edited by THE True Lara; 09-06-2002 at 01:24 AM.
Suddenly, I appear in the room through one of the tunnels looking really exhausted.
Prelude starts speaking quickly:"Hey, hi there! have you brought any beer? Oh and anything to eat? Oh dear, I'm really hungry... I could eat a whole..."
"Ehmm, look.."I begin to say.
Pr:"I suppose you haven't forgotten the cream cakes, have ya? Yiam Yiam, cream cakes cream cakes...."
TTL interrupting:"Prelude STOP TALKING 'BOUT CREAM CAKES!!! We don't have much time!"
Turning to me:"What are you doing here? We lost you in our last adventure... Where have you been"
I:"Well, uhmmm I got lost in one of those awful tunnels... I pulled a hidden switch I found and I found that damn Richard Simmons in front of me accompanied by..,"
TTL"He's ALIVE? NonononononononononoNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ARGGGGGGGGG! That freak is still alive!!!
I continue:"..accompanied by the Lion King".
The gang lool at me.
"...but he was kind of... ehm... geez, he was deaf! OMG, Prelude remember what you did? He now has a really big problem with his ears...AND HE'S NOW INSANE... he told me to order a pizza! That Simmons was alive but totally crazy..."
Aquarius:"and is that a new? He's always been a freak"
"...no, he was totall nuts. He was singing some Britney Spears songs..." I start laughing HAHAHAHA! ".. hmm, anyway now the Lion King is at a nearby beach, lying under ths sun and hoping to get a suntan."
TTL in a trembing voice:" And that that ... Simmons?"
"Pfff, he was singing that "Ooops I did it again to a fish! You should've seen that! He's a total freak now!"
DofX:"And how did you escape?"
"Geez, I told him that I was going to buy an ice-cream and be right back...Well I'm hear now. I found a wizard ...hmmm... what was his name...anyway... and he told me to come and help you save Lara..."
I stop and look around me. BeKs is crying quietly, Prelude is eating one sandwitch after another and the others are looking at me...
"And I'm here"
Aquarius:"That means you know the way out, right?"
"Well, it's a total labyrinth... well... no I don't..."
TTL: "oh, that's really bad... but I have an idea. I think we should..." she stops noticing that I was trembling. "What the..
We all turn around to see that...
BTW, these stories are really funny !
Last edited by V_Croft; 09-06-2002 at 04:57 AM.
The crazy Richard Simmons had followed V Croft into the are we were in.
RS: HEY! you didnt get ice cream!
TTL: ARRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.........
Lara: so hes crazy? cool, lets shoot him and get out of here.
*lara shoots RS but he doesnt move, like if Lara never shot him.*
V croft: well we should do something hold on..the wizrd gave me this red ball of jello, i guess we can use it to burn him.
*V croft throws the fire jello ball and burns simmons*
Beks; YEAH HES GONE!! TTL you can stop crying now!
TTL: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO what? hes gone oh okay.*smiles *
Aquarius: Beks arent you supposed to be sad that dino's gone!
Beks: oh yeah thats right, *continues sobbing*
Prelude i sure could go for a beer right a bout now....
DoX: shouldnt we get out of here we need to run before the Kran guy gets us...well?????
Dgx: we should. Lara which way should we go??
(continue, HEY V CROFT GLAD YOU ARE BACK!!!)
(HEY, DofX GLAD TO C U AGAIN !!!)
Lara:"Ehmmmmm, now which way?"
Thanhkim:"C'mon Larie dear I know you can find the right way"
Aquarius:"Yea, sure, there are only fifteen tunnels there from which we have to choose one! V, are you sure you don't remember where you came from?"
I:"Well, look, I followed a tunnel and I turned into another and... *looking terribly confused* No, sorry, I have no idea."
Prelude:"Hey, guys can we eat first? I'm getting really hungry with all that..." She then notices dead Dino. She quietly approaches him...
dgx:"ok, just choose one and see where it leads"
BeKs looking quite socked:"AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaa! Prelude!!! She's trying to eat Dino!!!"
The gang look at her socked. Aquarius goes over and pulls her back. "Now what, you're gonna eat Dino?"
Pr:"Oh, ehmmm, that was Dino? Really? Oh, sorry BeKs honey, I thought it was a large cream cake with..."
TTL:"Oh, i see. Now she's having illusions. Can't you stay for five minutes without eating something?"
Lara:"Yea, illusions due to extreme hunger"
I giving her a sandwitch:"Here, take this"
Pr:"Yiam yiam slourp"
We hear a sudden noice.
Lara:"Ok, time to go."
We rush into the first tunnel we see...
sorry, feeling flippant.....
..the worlds biggest ever cream-filled scone!!!!
we all stand in amazement, as Prelude begins to salivate.....
but could this be another illusion, and if so, what's the real cause? -first group depression now group hallucinations.....