Can't Sleep....

[Lo]

Hiya my friends,

What would you do with a girl like me eh?

I've been wide awake since 4am and I simply can't sleep for any amount of time when the predominant thoughts about my father are governing my sleep agenda.

I'm sorry to start 'Yet another' thread about my woes, it is becoming somewhat of a habit these days

I can't deny that last night I cried a river. I have worked so hard on getting the flat ready for handover that I have now been rendered somewhat of a thumb-twiddler

I have spoken to some of my army pals and got them on the case as to posting some good old military humour which I can print off and read out to my father. Many of the lads have actually posted up some verses which are moving to say the least.

My main worry at the present time is how on earth I am going to keep my $h*t together when I finally tread that path towards the ward and to Dad's sick bay. Mum sees him daily but I haven't seen him in months so I have to prep myself for a vision of painful truth.

The weeks sometimes fly by but for me, presently, the time has seemingly come to a standstill.

On top of all that I fell over last night, tripping over my mouse lead and fell flat on my face - I've fractured a small bone but it will heal. I only hope the bruising and swelling on my cheek can be disguised with some suitably expensive make-up

I will probably spend the day watching rubbish omnibus episodes of Eastenders and quaffing Earl Grey tea. No doubt Mum will phone at some point but the only real news will be delivered in the week. Dad has asked that there be no sugar-coated delivery of such results, he wants to be put fully in the picture.

He seems to be quite popular on the ward! He's ferrying his new friend around, Hugh, an amputee, all around the hospital in his wheelchair and is looking after all the patients and fetching them tea and coffee, bless him!

I managed to buy Dad a good book on Friday - all about Lance Armstrong, the Tour de France chap. Dad will like that. I have bought some of his fave music and some polo shirts, DVDs etc.... anything to keep him entertained!

[BLOWHARD]

My heart goes out to you. It doesn't mean much but just be strong and do what needs to be done.

Not that this has anything to do with that, but I can't sleep either, mostly my own personal demons see to that. I can rarely get to sleep before 4 AM. In some ways my freelance work goes well with that schedule , I work at night. But WOE is me when I've got to get up early to meet clients!
(I hope this aside gets your mind off of bad things, at least for the few seconds it takes to read it )

[TwinPistols]

I hope your father get better.
I know how hard is to have someone of our family sick. Some months ago my grandfather was very unwell too.
this forum'users are very lucky to have a community where they can talk about them problems.

I hope for the best, Lo.

[RUGRLN]

Don't worry keep strong!

LIVESTRONG, he will recover!

Hoping for the best!

[Rai]

I feel for you Lo. It is a very worrying time for you and your family. But do try to look after yourself too, your dad wouldn't want you to be exhausted and neither do we.

As for your Dad, he seems a very caring man; bless him for looking out for the other patients too. Maybe it helps him keep his mind off his own health, but whatever I can tell where his daughter gets her thoughtful streak from!

I hope all the best for you and your family.

[rabid metro]

Lo,
at the risk of making a complete baboon of myself, i offer these thoughts:
keep perspective.
while we cherish what we have, we can't keep it forever.
each of us is only a point on the circle of life.
we are bound to follow a spiral beyond our own choosing.
celebrate the good in what is around you.
acknowledge all of your feelings, savor them and leave room for more.
by way of honoring others, you have an obligation to be good to yourself.

if its feasible, i would like you to see the essential message in the following,
and perhaps draw inspiration from something as mundane as the Lion King.
you give a lot of yourself to the forums ... take a moment to enjoy this ...

circle of life
remember who you are
we are one

[humbug]

I'm sorry you are not sleeping well Lo, I'm sure sleep will come. It may help to cat nap in the day, I know it will mess up your sleeping pattern but at times like this you need your kip.

Its good that your dad is keeping himself busy by helping others on his ward, I hope this brings you some comfort. I'm sure you will be fine when your visit your Dad, try not to stress about it.

[Lo]

Thanks for your inspirational messages folks

I managed to sleep yesterday but my mobile died mid-sentence to Spong and I have only just found the charger so hope Mum wasn't trying to reach me.

I'd unplugged it in the kitchen whilst cleaning so it didn't get wet on the end that plugs into the phone and do you think I could find it? I mean everything is packed so it couldn't be far. I found it in the ironing basket this morning beneath a tracksuit where I had obviously put it down while using the toilet and walked off without it

I obviously had worn myself out as I slept on and off for a while yesterday and feel a bit more lively as a result. Now I just have to start disconnecting my printer, scanner and other stuff and wait for my friend to call to help with the bed dismantling.

I always leave a few things until this late stage to prevent any boredom. A week isn't long but it can seem longer when you are sat there with nothing to do but stare at the walls!! With the 'Dad' situation I don't want to be left with too much thinking time either because that just starts me off on a self-pitying weepy session

Still, that's a good release really, rather that than hold it all in and crumble when I see him. Any good jokes would be welcomed so I can go in and make the old codger laugh for his sins

Lo xx

[humbug]

Originally Posted by Lo

starts me off on a self-pitying weepy session

This is a very sad and worrying time for you, give yourself all the weeping time you need it helps to get it all out.

[chip5541]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kns3R...eature=related

http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...41398846400652

http://youtube.com/watch?v=0_hutfrqxIc

Mythbusters
http://youtube.com/watch?v=RHcDP_Yew-g

http://youtube.com/watch?v=txoJQZfObb8

Enjoy!

[Seth Koopa]

Hi Lo, take care. I don't know what I can say, can't think of anything - but just hang in there. Often, I've felt that's the only attitude I can hold on to.

[Phlip]

You're in my preys (sp?) and in my thoughts. Please take care, and watch where you're going!

Remember that all that's happening to your Dad is that he is loosing his temple (his body) and will not be able to see you, which is exceptionally hard, but his soul will always be with you.

Please sleep well and think of something fun... like how classic Lara would get through Legend's Bolivia... that's what I always do; close my eyes and imagine something's gone wrong and I'm playing classic Lara in a Legend world.

Sweet dreams. [/sop]