"Viz" Hilarious Readers' Letters!

[Lo]

I used to love this adult comic.

Here are a few samples of spoofy letters from actual readers (I contributed a few some years back)

Hats off to the witty burglars who stole my entire CD collection with the
exception of "There is Nothing Left to Lose" by the Foo Fighters. I hope
that when sentencing, the judge takes into account their splendid sense of
humour.

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What's all this nonsense about that 66-year-old Romanian woman being the
world's oldest mum? My mum's 77. Beat that.

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Imagine my shock at getting a letter from my doctor advising me I only had
a month to live but thankfully the letter was not for me but for my son
with the same name who lives with us. Close call, Yours.

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What is it with diabetics? One minute they're on the floor with a loved
one standing by screaming "Give him some chocolate! Give him some
chocolate!" The next day someone offers them a piece of chocolate and
quick as a flash they say "No thanks, I'm diabetic." I wish they'd get
their story straight.

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Why don't NHS bosses start hiring obsessive compulsives as nurses? Their
attention to hygiene and constant hand washing would see an end to MRSA
outbreaks in no time.

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AND my favourite one of all:

Never mind ventriloquists like Keith Harris and Roger DeCourcey. What
about Professor Stephen Hawking? I saw him on telly blathering on about
galaxies for hours and I never saw his lips move once. Genius.