Pyronox
01-14-2010, 11:31 AM
So yeah. Viktoria posted this writing challenge thingy about your best post evar (if you havent noticed). The first subject is why Garrett should be the main character. I had opened the page and wrote a short story in the browser instead of copy-pasting previous posts.
However, IDK if people read it/if it got a chance of winning fo shytz, so ironically, I'm copy pasting it from there to here to get your opinion.
There it is:
Ima write sum prose mmk? Just wrote this now in the browser. It counts. IT COUNTS!
*Begin*
From a large balcony overlooking the ocean, a wealthy noble scrutinizes the horizon. Lord Ignatius, his glass of wine in one hand and his worry in the other, was expecting a grand ship to produce itself on this chaotic blue theater.
"It will appear any time now..." he thought, certain that an insignificant storm would not come in the way of wares he sold for such obscenely high profit. After all, a man of his stature surely had to maintain a high profile: his richly decorated villa, from which the balcony hung, and his lifestyle surely are a testament to his success thus far.
Pouring a generous serving of wine into his tightly clutched glass, he began to think aloud: "Ah, poor I. Dining only on wine this eve. It is surely the main course of sorrow." So absorbed by his self-pity was the good lord that he had decided to abandon supper to survey the seas for his tardy ship.
The alcohol in his empty stomach was beginning to take it's toll. Indeed, he hadn't even the strength to scold the servants that had stumbled into kitchen pots and pans on he first floor. Being on the third and last floor, he could only imagine what a racket it must have been down there. It was surprising though that the others had not yet yelled some profanity at the culprits. "I could have used a bit of entertainment..." said he aloud again, with clear disappointment in his voice.
Turning his gaze to the ocean once more, he leaned in, almost falling over the intricately decorated wooden balustrade, and gasped in relief: He could barely make out a brown blur in the horizon, but it had to be his ship. He had already convinced himself.
"Finally! This calls for celebration, parade, and a well-deserved hundred-year-old vintage!" Ignatius cried out, grabbing one of the bottles lovingly arranged on an exquisitely carved table.
He sat on the balustrade to begin uncorking it, when he heard a creak. Calmly turning his head towards the entrance back into the villa, he saw the door was opened and the candles already pinched inside.
"I thought I felt a gust. Damned thing will have me wandering around blindly for quite a bit too when be it time to retire to my chambers. Still, it brought me my ship, I suppose." said he, aloud again, turning once more to his precious wine.
"Nice view." said a voice from the shadows.
Almost immediately after twisting around to see from where the sound echoed, Ignatius gasped this time in surprise as his whole body began to topple over the balustrade. Without so much as a moment wasted, the hooded figure drew a bow and let loose an arrow through the lord's robes and into the wooden balustrade, preventing a topple from being a fatal fall, but still leaving the man hanging over the ocean, with the impossibility of pulling himself to safety on his own.
"You probably didn't deserve that, but I have a perfect track record so far, so I'd rather not spoil it for now. At least you weren't so fat my arrow couldn't hold up your weight." he continued,. "The source was right: this town is so easy to rob, it should be illegal not to. A perfect vacation spot for enterprising... not-strictly-legal folk such as myself. I hope that boat of yours is bringing in new pots and pans, by the way, because we had a little incident downstairs. Don't worry, no one's dead: you'll be able to go back to terrorizing them in no time. And the servants too. Not my finest work, but I don't intend to break a sweat here. Now, before I get back to robbing you blind, how about you suggest a vintage?
"How about you get me back up first?" replied the hanging Ignatius, irritably.
"How about no? Anyway, good luck with our little situation here. After I get whatever riches are on that ship, maybe I'll pay a visit to your friends to whom you owe that debt." the hooded figure said, inspecting the most expensive vintage on the table.
He spun the bottle in his hand and carefully placed it in a bag that obviously had other contents.
"Who are you? Tell me now!" the irate noble demanded.
Resting the bag on his shoulder, the hooded man replied with a smirk:
"Now where would be the fun in that?"
*FIN*
And that's why he should stay.
Just write some feedback or whatever.
However, IDK if people read it/if it got a chance of winning fo shytz, so ironically, I'm copy pasting it from there to here to get your opinion.
There it is:
Ima write sum prose mmk? Just wrote this now in the browser. It counts. IT COUNTS!
*Begin*
From a large balcony overlooking the ocean, a wealthy noble scrutinizes the horizon. Lord Ignatius, his glass of wine in one hand and his worry in the other, was expecting a grand ship to produce itself on this chaotic blue theater.
"It will appear any time now..." he thought, certain that an insignificant storm would not come in the way of wares he sold for such obscenely high profit. After all, a man of his stature surely had to maintain a high profile: his richly decorated villa, from which the balcony hung, and his lifestyle surely are a testament to his success thus far.
Pouring a generous serving of wine into his tightly clutched glass, he began to think aloud: "Ah, poor I. Dining only on wine this eve. It is surely the main course of sorrow." So absorbed by his self-pity was the good lord that he had decided to abandon supper to survey the seas for his tardy ship.
The alcohol in his empty stomach was beginning to take it's toll. Indeed, he hadn't even the strength to scold the servants that had stumbled into kitchen pots and pans on he first floor. Being on the third and last floor, he could only imagine what a racket it must have been down there. It was surprising though that the others had not yet yelled some profanity at the culprits. "I could have used a bit of entertainment..." said he aloud again, with clear disappointment in his voice.
Turning his gaze to the ocean once more, he leaned in, almost falling over the intricately decorated wooden balustrade, and gasped in relief: He could barely make out a brown blur in the horizon, but it had to be his ship. He had already convinced himself.
"Finally! This calls for celebration, parade, and a well-deserved hundred-year-old vintage!" Ignatius cried out, grabbing one of the bottles lovingly arranged on an exquisitely carved table.
He sat on the balustrade to begin uncorking it, when he heard a creak. Calmly turning his head towards the entrance back into the villa, he saw the door was opened and the candles already pinched inside.
"I thought I felt a gust. Damned thing will have me wandering around blindly for quite a bit too when be it time to retire to my chambers. Still, it brought me my ship, I suppose." said he, aloud again, turning once more to his precious wine.
"Nice view." said a voice from the shadows.
Almost immediately after twisting around to see from where the sound echoed, Ignatius gasped this time in surprise as his whole body began to topple over the balustrade. Without so much as a moment wasted, the hooded figure drew a bow and let loose an arrow through the lord's robes and into the wooden balustrade, preventing a topple from being a fatal fall, but still leaving the man hanging over the ocean, with the impossibility of pulling himself to safety on his own.
"You probably didn't deserve that, but I have a perfect track record so far, so I'd rather not spoil it for now. At least you weren't so fat my arrow couldn't hold up your weight." he continued,. "The source was right: this town is so easy to rob, it should be illegal not to. A perfect vacation spot for enterprising... not-strictly-legal folk such as myself. I hope that boat of yours is bringing in new pots and pans, by the way, because we had a little incident downstairs. Don't worry, no one's dead: you'll be able to go back to terrorizing them in no time. And the servants too. Not my finest work, but I don't intend to break a sweat here. Now, before I get back to robbing you blind, how about you suggest a vintage?
"How about you get me back up first?" replied the hanging Ignatius, irritably.
"How about no? Anyway, good luck with our little situation here. After I get whatever riches are on that ship, maybe I'll pay a visit to your friends to whom you owe that debt." the hooded figure said, inspecting the most expensive vintage on the table.
He spun the bottle in his hand and carefully placed it in a bag that obviously had other contents.
"Who are you? Tell me now!" the irate noble demanded.
Resting the bag on his shoulder, the hooded man replied with a smirk:
"Now where would be the fun in that?"
*FIN*
And that's why he should stay.
Just write some feedback or whatever.