Batman's Random Thoughts

[MCREF]

Okay to ease some of the tension on the forums I made this. Basically, just write things Batman is randomly thinking to himself in a scenario of your choice. I'll start it off:


(Batman driving downtown in pursuit of bank robbers)

Batman: Dunna, dunna, dunna, dunna.....BATMAN!

[Lunar]

I dont get that dunna dunna part.

[MCREF]

I dont get that dunna dunna part.

:scratch:


Really? Ever watch the Adam West series?

[Abeja]

The old Adam West dunnananananan thing people do. Not very funny still but i applaud the creativity.

[We Are The Archers]

It's the theme from the old 60's show, Lunar

[DarkCrusader67]

[As Batman is beating up some thugs]

Batman: I wonder what Alfred is making for dinner

[The Comedian]

(Batman using the cameras to look at the female prisoners cells in Arkham)

Batman: MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[MCREF]

(Old Bruce staring at Terry)

Old Bruce: If he even thinks about putting me in a nursing home, I'll drop him so fast he'll crap tapioca.

Is that up to your standards Abeja? lol :)

[The Comedian]

(A crowd of people look up as Superman flies over Metropolis.)

Man: It's a bird!
Woman It's a plane!
Batman: It's just Clark!

[pepito115]

(A crowd of people look up as Superman flies over Metropolis.)

Man: It's a bird!
Woman It's a plane!
Batman: It's just Clark!

Ha ha! I enjoyed that a lot!

[MCREF]

(Poison Ivy successfully ties Batman down with her vines and reveals her plot)

Ivy: Don't bother struggling it'll do you no good. I had this planned from the start. First, every plant in every park in Gotham will make everyone my willing slaves. Then..... (Still talking)

Batman: (Thinking) Look at those jugs. I bet I could fit a whole batarang in those puppies. Put a little blue in her green. Wait what am I saying? I'm supposed to die angry and alone. C'mon fight it. Fight it! Hmm.... I wonder if she'll call Harley over and start giving me a little vine whip action..... GYAH! Think about something unsexy. Old women. Really old women. A hot girl with an annoying voice. Robin doing pilates okay I'm good.

Ivy:.... and then the world will become an oasis of beauty and the ecstasy of.....

Batman: (Thinking) Crap. She's still talking. I didn't hear a word she said. Alright, whatever she says last, I'll just say, "You'll never get away with this, Ivy."

Ivy:....There isn't a thing you can do to stop this!

Batman: You'll never get away with this Ivy! (thinking) Sweet....

[QCypher]

(Poison Ivy successfully ties Batman down with her vines and reveals her plot)

Ivy: Don't bother struggling it'll do you no good. I had this planned from the start. First, every plant in every park in Gotham will make everyone my willing slaves. Then..... (Still talking)

Batman: (Thinking) Look at those jugs. I bet I could fit a whole batarang in those puppies. Put a little blue in her green. Wait what am I saying? I'm supposed to die angry and alone. C'mon fight it. Fight it! Hmm.... I wonder if she'll call Harley over and start giving me a little vine whip action..... GYAH! Think about something unsexy. Old women. Really old women. A hot girl with an annoying voice. Robin doing pilates okay I'm good.

Ivy:.... and then the world will become an oasis of beauty and the ecstasy of.....

Batman: (Thinking) Crap. She's still talking. I didn't hear a word she said. Alright, whatever she says last, I'll just say, "You'll never get away with this, Ivy."

Ivy:....There isn't a thing you can do to stop this!

Batman: You'll never get away with this Ivy! (thinking) Sweet....

:lol: Pure comedic Gold. :thumb:

[Kai Rei]

*Batman's attempting to beat Ivy, Harley and Catwoman*

*I wonder who I'll be able to bed the longest*

[EliteF50]

(Poison Ivy successfully ties Batman down with her vines and reveals her plot)

Ivy: Don't bother struggling it'll do you no good. I had this planned from the start. First, every plant in every park in Gotham will make everyone my willing slaves. Then..... (Still talking)

Batman: (Thinking) Look at those jugs. I bet I could fit a whole batarang in those puppies. Put a little blue in her green. Wait what am I saying? I'm supposed to die angry and alone. C'mon fight it. Fight it! Hmm.... I wonder if she'll call Harley over and start giving me a little vine whip action..... GYAH! Think about something unsexy. Old women. Really old women. A hot girl with an annoying voice. Robin doing pilates okay I'm good.

Ivy:.... and then the world will become an oasis of beauty and the ecstasy of.....

Batman: (Thinking) Crap. She's still talking. I didn't hear a word she said. Alright, whatever she says last, I'll just say, "You'll never get away with this, Ivy."

Ivy:....There isn't a thing you can do to stop this!

Batman: You'll never get away with this Ivy! (thinking) Sweet....

Lmao.

[HeartlessSystem]

[batman reading old comic]

Batman: I liked it more when robin was everywhere I was.. and I mean EVERYWHERE

[The Comedian]

(The JLA are splitting into teams.)

Batman: Superman you and Wonder Woman, Hawkgirl and Lantern, Jon you take Watchtower. And I'll go with...
Fash: Oh, oh, oh pick me pick me!
(Later in the batplane Batman pilot's and Flash rides shotgon)
Flash: Oh man this is awesome, so this is the batplane this reminds of this one time when i was battling Cpt. Cold...
Batman (thinking): God he is almost as annoying as Kent.

[MCREF]

(Talia shows up at Bruce's doorstep with Damien)

Talia: Bruce. This is your son, Damien.

Bruce: (Thinking) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Talia: Bruce?

Bruce: Oh, I'm sorry. Come in.

[CapedCrusader1495]

*while going on a nice Sunday drive*

Batman: *thinking* Jeez, this costume DOES ride up in the crotch a bit. Spiderman was right!

[Lunar]

:scratch:


Really? Ever watch the Adam West series?

Nope.

[PS3/PSPGamer7]

Nope.
Well its stupidly funny imo. That was how I was introduced to Batman, that movie with Adam West(I know he did shows too, I just didn't watch them)
My favorite part in that movie is when they so cleverly found out who all the villains were behind the kidnapping

Batman: Sounds pretty fishy how that shark found me
Gordon: And where theres a fish there could be a Penguin
Batman: Precisely
Robin: Wait were at sea, C for Catwoman
Batman: Exactly Robin, but wait that shark was pulling my leg
Robin: The Joker
Gordon: It all adds up to a sinister riddle...Riddler. Great scott Batman could it be?
Batman: I don't know, quickly Robin we must get to the batcave and find out

It went something like that:lmao:

[JustAnotherUser]

Well its stupidly funny imo. That was how I was introduced to Batman, that movie with Adam West(I know he did shows too, I just didn't watch them)
My favorite part in that movie is when they so cleverly found out who all the villains were behind the kidnapping

Batman: Sounds pretty fishy how that shark found me
Gordon: And where theres a fish there could be a Penguin
Batman: Precisely
Robin: Wait were at sea, C for Catwoman
Batman: Exactly Robin, but wait that shark was pulling my leg
Robin: The Joker
Gordon: It all adds up to a sinister riddle...Riddler. Great scott Batman could it be?
Batman: I don't know, quickly Robin we must get to the batcave and find out

It went something like that:lmao:

:lol: Gonna have to watch that movie now

[The_Dark_Knight]

(Joker talking to Batman)

Batman thinking: I wonder where he got his lipstick from?

[MCREF]

(Batman confronted by Mr. Freeze)

Mr. Freeze: Now is the winter of your discontent Batman. I will shatter your body like glass. I'll rip your still beating heart from your chest. I'll...

Batman: (Thinking) Blah, blah, blah, blah, BLAH! I mean does he even care about his wife anymore? You know for such a brilliant doctor it's a shame he can only come up with cheesy puns like all my other villains. Why can't my villains just say, "Oh, hi Batman. I'm going to kill you."

[The Comedian]

(Vicky Vale looks at Superman from a distance)

Vicky: God he's dreamy
Batman: Someone has a thing for underwear models.

[Game Weasel]

(Immediatley after a sparring match with Wonder woman in the hall of Justice)

Flash: Dude, You just got your ass handed to you by a princess...
Batman: Don't call me dude.
Flash: Sorry, sorry! But I mean, come on, I thought you had a plan to beat every one of us?
Batman: 1. The only person on this planet stronger than her is Superman. 2. It was a training excercise, not an actual battle. and 3. . . . I was on the mat wrestling body to body with the most beautiful woman on earth, what sane man actually tries to escape from that situation?


~ * ~ * ~

(While Two-Face monologues about his scheme)
Batman thinks: I wonder if he ever tried that burn salve I sent him... you know I bet a little of that would go a long way towards ending his chronic case of "Whoamagawdfugly."

~ * ~ * ~

(While watching over the city from atop a building)
Batman: Hrnh... Quiet night- Wait, that's Catwoman dangling from... that... flag pole... upside down. Jesus look at 'em sway... Come on, Bruce, get a grip; you've got to stop her! .... As soon as she's done cutting the glass... And stops stretching out... Oooh that's it kitty, roll those hips...

[TheManWhoLaughs]

*Batman and Joker are fighting*

Joker: Hope you enjoy your episode of Judy and PUNCH

*Joker punches Batman*

Batman (thinking): My GOD his jokes are really crap now, I'd actually prefer listening to Dane Cook of all people!

[Riddling Artist]

these are hilarious. i cant really think of anything right now. ill probably be up all night trying to come up with a random thought now.

[Game Weasel]

(In side the batcave, with one of the Riddler's latest riddles is projected onto the batcomputer's main monitor)
Batman, with his hand resting on the emergency phone: Hmmm... Should I order pepperoni pizza, or hamburger and onion...?

[MCREF]

(Adam West's Batman and Robin have traveled into the darker universe. Random thug has people tied up and strapped to dynamite at a bank. Batman and Robin hiding in the shadows above)

Random Thug: Alright! I suggest you don't move, but I ask if you do you mine as well kiss your asses goodbye now because your head will be twenty feet across the room!

Robin: Holy devious dynamite Batman! We have to save those people right away!

Batman: Well my good chum you're right. Just as soon as he gives us the perfect opening for a great one liner.

Robin: (Puzzled)........... You've got to be kidding me right?

Batman: 'fraid not my eager sidekick. Remember, the only thing greater than a hero's physical prowess is his mental ability.

(A man explodes)

Robin: Holy sizzling flesh Batman! That man was blown to pieces!

Batman: Your right chum.

Robin: Let's go down there and save them now!

Batman: (Thinking) Hmm.....hold dynamite horizontally and it is a line until a button is pressed. Or punched. Dynamite explodes into a gas. A punchline that's a gas! My God. Joker is behind this! Oh you fiendish clown. Thought I wouldn't figure it out.

Robin: Batman? Batman!

Batman: I think I've cracked this case wide open! The Joker is around here somewhere. No doubt that harlequined hoodlum will give me a great one liner....

Robin: Wait, what? Joker? Batman, the bomber is about to.....

(Thug runs out with the money)

Robin: Nevermind.

[HeartlessSystem]

Robin: Quick batman, to the batpod!
Batman: err..., sorry to break it to you, but I realised that bike was a waste of cash. I sold it for a bat-I-pod.
Robin: holy rotten apples batman! how does this help us fight crime?
Batman: err... the musi can get us in the zone, you know (to himself) and those pics and videos I got when we last caught harley can go on there... They'll be good for a long stake out.... or maby when I'm lonely.... or when I want to feel happy

[TheManWhoLaughs]

Batman: Alfred I'm about to see if I can stop Poison Ivy's pheramones from controlling everyone in Gotham

Alfred: Right-o then! *Hangs up*

Batman: *sniff* Love you daddy *sob*
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
-Deleted Scene in Knightfall-

Bruce's back is broken

Bruce: Alfred come closer...

-Alfred comes closer

Bruce: Can you kiss my boo-boo please?

[Wherein lies]

Batman: Alfred I'm about to see if I can stop Poison Ivy's pheramones from controlling everyone in Gotham

Alfred: Right-o then! *Hangs up*

Batman: *sniff* Love you daddy *sob*
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
-Deleted Scene in Knightfall-

Bruce's back is broken

Bruce: Alfred come closer...

-Alfred comes closer

Bruce: Can you kiss my boo-boo please?



Awww!! That first half realy touched me. Second half I lol'd.

[batfan08]

Darkseid has Omega sanctioned Batman
He is now in a cave
Bruce Singing in his head[Flintstones meet the Flintstones,Have a Yabba Dabba Doo time,Abba Dabba Doo Time...Wait,I know it come on]

Later...
Batman fights off a tribe of cannibalistic cavemen[Everybody's Brendan Frasier,yeah,Brendan Frasier,Encinoman Brendan Frasier,Encinoman Brendan Frasier......(long pause)I HATE Brendan Frasier!!!!!!!]