Friends

[Omega]

Does anybody else feel awkward when different groups of friends meet up?

See, I've got various groups of friends. University friends, gay friends, Doctor Who friends from a message board (most of whom fall in to the previous category!), and random friends I've made over the years.

Now, I don't mind all my friends mixing together - the more the merrier - but I am concerned that some groups won't mix well, or at least, won't enjoy each others company.

Like, my Uni friends might not enjoy interacting with my Doctor Who friends, mostly because the latter group are slightly more older (e.g. 30+), and my Uni friends might feel like they have to restrain themselves in how they act and what they say. I get enough trouble (jokingly) from Uni friends about being a sci-fi freak!

I'm asking this because I'm doing a pub crawl on sunday, mostly for my Uni friends, but I've made it an open invitation on Facebook, and some of my Doctor Who friends have said they'll come.

Now, I don't want to be mean and say, after saying I've invited all my friends, that a specific group of friends can't come, because I do like all my friends, and I'd feel obliged to not perhaps look after them, but be responsible for them, to make sure they're having a fun time. I'd feel even more responsible because some would want to stay at my house. Obviously that isn't a problem, but I can picture it clearly (as it's happened before) the friends staying at my house want to go home earlier (for various reasons) so I'd have to take them home and then stay there with them, because I'd feel bad if I left them to re-join the fun.

The whole thing has left me feeling rather hollow, because I just had to tell one group of friends (the Doctor Who people) that my house is full (a lie :() and so they can't stay.

As soon as I said it, I felt really bad and don't want to go back on myself and say they can stay as I'd have to explain myself, which would make me seem - and feel more - bad.

What do you do when different groups of friends interact? How do you handle it?

[Paulraider]

you have a point

depends who wants to socialise and who doesn't

If you have chat in on the net and mixed networks then it aint too bad, but ya know its can sometimes be awkward

[Diva]

OH boy oh boy ... I've been in this position and know just how you feel Omega :(

I did the very same thing for my 40th birthday bash ... invited friends and then threw open and online invitation too. It was the very first time I had met my online friends and I was so looking forward to spending some quality time with them ... yet I felt obliged to spend time with my other friends too. The thing you have to remember about non online friends is They just don't get the online thing!!!
My own family don't even get it !!!!

I think your just gonna have to bite the bullet on this one huni and remember in future that the two just don't mix. It will be hard to split yourself in two.
Your only other option is to be true to yourself and spend your time with the people you really want to be with. I personally have found that my online friends have helped me through so many difficult times, and my time with them is so precious to me. Call me a geek, whatever, they are still real people in my life that I really care about.

I'm sure you will find a way to keep everyone happy for that one evening, but just make sure you keep yourself happy at the same time ;)

Good Luck :D

[Omega]

Thanks!

See, the thing that makes it really harder is that they're all my real life friends too - as I've met a vast majority of the Doctor Who people many times.

I don't want to choose between them, but as you say, it'd be awkward splitting my time evenly and making sure everybody is having a good time.

To be honest, if my friends didn't ask to stay with me, it wouldn't be a problem. As I've said, I've been out on nights before when various people who want to sleep at mine have asked to go back earlier and - I'd never tell them this - it's sort of spoilt the night!

The whole thing has left me feeling rather hollow, and grossly confused!

[Umah Bloodomen]

I used to feel awkward when different groups of my friends got together (e.g. my BMX crew and nerd crew for example) but I'm to the point now where I don't mind it. I figure that those who are up to meeting and interacting with new people (and mature/open-minded enough to do so) then all is good. I've had instances where some of my BMX friends decided not to come out with other friends of mine for reasons not disclosed to me. Perhaps they were a bit insecure about mingling and decided to avoid it outright. Eh, their prerogative I suppose. I didn't lose any sleep over it and I'm still friends with them.

As far as spending time with each of my friends when we all get together , I really haven't found that to be very difficult to do. I have a routine where I make the rounds in order to make sure I've acknowledged everyone for a bit and then take time out to allow them to approach me and before going back to making the rounds again. Behold the power of mingling, eh? :p