A painful realization (when I grew up)

[willow]

We all grow up sometime... but does that mean we have to change? I was thinking earlier today, it must be something in my area... I grew up in Long Island New York... and as a child I remember playing outside and always seeing caterpillars... I loved caterpillars and all the wildlife around me... I remember climbing trees and running around chasing squirrels... but mostly... I remember the caterpillars.

I sat on my deck today reading a book thinking that I haven't seen a caterpillar since we moved (now in the Chicago area) when I was a child (around 7yrs old).
Then came my painful realization... it's less of the population of caterpillars in the Midwest... and more that I'm not a child... and I don't even go outside enough to even see a caterpillar... I just don't play outside... I don't even go outside... at what age did I stop chasing lightning bugs, when did I start saying I'm too tired? When was the last time I climbed a tree or came home covered in dirt because I was just having too much fun playing outside?...
When did I lose my youth? I'm only 21 and I'm living life like I'm 90... that's not life... is it?

[DaveJ]

Your story reminds me of something comedian Ray Romano once said.
He was driving along with his little daughter in the car, and she was just staring into space, smiling.
"What are you thinking about?" he asked her.
Without quitting her space staring or smiling, she replied "Candy....."

Isn't it a lost art, he marvelled, to be able to be that happy and care-free just thinking about Candy?

As to me, I realised my childhood was over when I stopped getting stingy smacks on the leg for pissing my parents off.

[cubreturns]

I know how you feel, I've been thinking those same things for awhile now. Except in my case, I didn't get to do as much of those things, my mom didn't give much freedom as a child (still tries not to let me have much freedom). But that only means I cherish them more. What rejuvenates me is actually going out and helping a friend run a daycare business as well as helping with her own two kids. Even though I have to act somewhat responsible and look after the kids, I get to chase those lightning bugs, I get to roll in the dirt and tear up my clothes. There's nothing quite like being a kid, and I'm defintely going to try my hardest not to let the kid in me go away.

If you need to feel that same kind of joy only found in those kinds of experiences, go play with some kids.



edit: oh yeah, you're not just crazy... there aren't that many caterpillars in this part of the mid-west ;)

[nanakki]

arrghh! stop it or i'll kill myself! :p. i don't think adulthood suits me. i just want to hide away in art school for the rest of my life.

[willow]

heh we're in the same boat... I probably will hide out in art school for the rest of my life.

[CatSuit&Ponytail]

Everyone is as different as snowflakes, it seems.....I ran away from art school, hehehehe. ;)

I also spend a lot of my adult life sitting, thinking and smiling about what is CatNip to me.

My childhood was spent between the pages of books, I would read in the moonlight when I was supposed to be asleep....but I still will gaze into the night and just be.

I even know the stars by name, I learned when I was an adult, and would watch the bats feasting in the light of a magical streetlamp. I still stop to watch them fly when I am in their time.

I do not yearn for youth.....nature is best savoured when one knows the grim alternative, I think. To watch the ants at work without the magnifying glass catching the sun is real innocence to me.

[Deekman]

You are never to old to climb a tree. The only thing that should stop you is being UNABLE to climb a tree. And there are those who even overcome that.
The tree in my Mom's back yard was unclimbable when I was a kid (so I climbed other trees at the time). But now it is quite climbable and I have actually done so several times in the past few years. I can actually climb high
enough in it to be ABOVE and SEE OVER my Mom's house.
When I go to the races, I drive a car to the track, buy food and beer, camp,
cook my food, drink my beer, chop firewood AND PLAY IN THE DIRT!
I think most of us here are big kids at heart or else we wouldn't even be here.
And Willow, you will find out that with the CREATIVE path you have chosen,
this will be even more true for you. At twenty one you're not quite old enough
to know the joy of being a big kid at heart. But I suspect you will.
Carry on....

[the last frustration]

TLF went playing in the dirt recently! She went down into the woods and jumped into a bog and nearly killed herself trying to get out and it was soooo much fun... that's one good thing about getting older. You can actually go and play wherever the heck you like without being told off by your parents. When she was little she was lucky if she was allowed to get within ten feet of the entrance to the woods. Now she can almost get herself killed and her parents won't even argue! :D

[hyper now... maybe she'll go climb a tree...]

[Zaphod]

Someone way smarter than me (I think it was Calvin Trillan, but I could be wrong) once said, (paraphrasing) "I'm really disappointed that adults can't play the same games we played as kids. What game is better than Hide 'N' Seek? I realize now that, even though we had a ball playing it as kids, we probably weren't very good at it. I wish we could play that now, because, after 40 years, I'd be a better Hider or Seeker than I ever was as a child."

Very true. It's a pity that as adults we lose some of the simplistic joy that we had as kids. You can still recapture it, although the danger is that 1) you're regressing and hiding from your Grownup Responsibilites, or 2) you'll be viewed as a moron. This isn't the worst thing in the world, but you just have to be careful not to swing from branches or make mud pies near your boss, loan officer, in-laws.

[AmO]

you must never loose your "inner" child.
you MUST take time out of your busy lives to do things you enjoyed and as a child, and who cares if someone is looking? so what? and if you can't climb as high in a tree anymore then sit in a swing and go as high as you can, its fun!!!think back to the things that made you happy and joyful as a child, find ways to do it again, perhaps with a few limitations, for instance if you loved running through mud puddles after a good rain, and picking up the long worms that seem to suddenly appear, you might not want to be wearing your best shoes or gloves!!:D

[willow]

Well I'm still a child in a lot of ways... I still watch primarily cartoons; I still purchase and play with toys... things like that...
I guess I just stopped with everything else... *shrugs* you're right DEEK, I can still climb a tree...
Actually I think there's a tree outside with my name on it. I'll see everyone later... after my game of hide & seek.

[Dracoraptor]

Technology has that lazy-amplifying effect on people. Ever since modern technology has come along, humans have grown weaker and less hairier. Have you seen people with natural body hair all over them anymore lately? Well, maybe on Ripley's Believe or Not!, but not in real life. And how many nude humans have you seen roaming around in the forests hunting wild bison to feed and clothe their children these days? Well, not any I suppose.

[Deekman]

Deekman's weekly toy expenses:
Comics: $10 - $30
Action figures: $8 - $25
Johnny Lightning/Hot Wheels/Matchbox cars: $4 - $16
Non-sports themed trading cards: $3 - $12
The ability to continue to make said purchases week after week year after year: PRICELESS!

[Zaphod]

{Tangent}

Originally posted by Dracoraptor
Ever since modern technology has come along, humans have grown weaker and less hairier. Have you seen people with natural body hair all over them anymore lately?1. That's actually been happening for several hundred years now, smarties say. You might make the case that it's due to industrialization as a whole, but not "modern technology" (say, the last 20 years). And yes, I see people all the time in my urban neighborhood who have a thick rug of chest hair, arms that look like caterpillars, and back hair like I have head hair.

{/Tangent}

[thanhkim]

I loved my childhood I had such fun and anything could be possible. As you get older it gets harder to keep dreams alive. Hard to make them even happen. Some dreams happen but many don't.

[thanhkim]

Deep down I'm still a big kid at nearly 30. I still love my video games, I love xmas like I did as a kid and I hope I never lose that side of me cause that is a very big part of me.

[Solange]

In our teens we try so desperatly to "grow up", to become adults! After that it takes time to regain the lost child! It took me until my late twenties to be able to play again, now I'm 33 and I'm just a kid! :)

Ï'll NEVER grow up completely!

[Kat]

My childhood was hard and I don't wish to revisit it, ever. My inner child is gone, and it shall not return because I learned a long time ago when my father had his first heart surgery and it was me who cleaned his incisions and helped him with his exercises (all while I was 13) that there are things more important in this world than Barbies, Hot Wheels, climbing trees and such.

I believe that's why me and my husband don't always see eye to eye. I am the grown up, always worrying about bills, cleaning the house, schoolwork and going to work. While he is content on spending his allowance (yes I give him an allowance) on NASCAR collectibles and camera equipment.

[Catman]

Iowa State University lies on a Monarch Butterfly migration route, and on sunny days each spring and fall, I'll stand on campus watching the butterflies slowly fly overhead. People rush by all around me, and I often hear comments like, "What's wrong with that idiot?"

But I don't care. For in those moments, watching the butterflies, I touch again pleasant memories of my childhood.

[TombRaiderChik]

well i know im not an adult quite yet and all but i still like to try and have fun like when i was younger. halloween for example. i went out last year w/ a bunch of friends and my mom was like wut are u doin?! ure too old for that and im like pleese ill b doin this in my 20's lol. also running in the pouring rain and jumping in puddles and hose fights w/ friends is also grand and u kinda feel like a little kid agen:D

[Catman]

Actually, if you take the right classes and meet the right people, you eventually move from student to teacher, and you can stay for life.

http://www1.iastate.edu/~wsthune/cps/mrbunny/hop.gif

[Joan]

The only things I really had to worry about when I lived in the country as a child were the copperhead snakes, ticks, mosquitos, and chigers (a small parasitic insect that burrows under your skin and itches like heck) I could just avoid the poisonous snakes and have a hefty amount of citronella smeared on me to ward off the bugs. With all that, I'd be fine chasing little green Garter snakes in the 200+ acre backyard. When I moved into the city, however, I couldn't go outside without a parent, and both of my parents worked, so I didn't really get to go outside much after I moved.
My health and wellness 101 teach told us something very interesting in one of his lectures: "You don't stop playing because you get old; You get old because you stop playing." By this he ment two things: 1. Exercise maintains a healthy body that lasts longer, and 2. You keep your inner-child amused.

Excuse me, I hear some green play-dough wanting to be made into snakes...:D

[the last frustration]

[very hyper now]

TLF WENT TO THE PARK AND WENT ON THE SWINGS!! *giggles*

It musta looked pretty weird, this goth girl with chains and a bullet hanging off her trousers playing on a bright red swing while a bunch of sulky 7 year-olds wait for their turn, but who cares? It was fun! :D