View Full Version : My new fanfic: Batman: Scarred Psyche!
08-09-2010, 07:46 PM
Fellow Batfans, I'd like to introduce my new Batman fanfic: Batman: Scarred Psyche.
I'm going for a Batman horror story here. I write mostly horror, but this is my first foray into criminal horror (I've done lotsa supernatural horror stories), so I decided to do a less common Batman villain that is not given enough respect: ZSASZ!
My portrayal of Zsasz will be a Hannibal Lector-esque serial killer, who's significantly smarter than he is usually portrayed. The murders are grisly, the action is intense, and the blood gushes non-stop. Here's the basic plot summary with NO spoilers.
The first murders go mostly unnoticed: a prostitute in her 30s, a grungy college sorority girl, and an old woman. That is, until Batman begins to unravel a pattern of strange concidences about each murder. They all are women, unimportant, little to no close family.
They all have their throats gruesomely slit by a long knife. And most of all, they all seem to be strangely posed.
Three more grotesque murders follow (so grotesque I can't tell you right now), with the Dark Knight Dectective only a step behind. With each murder, Batman pieces together more of the puzzle. Finally, with a last clue found at the hideout of the evil man now known to him as Zsasz, Batman races to a small suburban home to stop a monster hell-bent on ending the lives of all its inhabitants...including the Dark Knight himself.
I cant tell you guys the ending, but what I can tell you is that the first chapter, Origins of a Killer, will be up tomorrow!
08-09-2010, 08:23 PM
Sweet, look forward to it.
08-10-2010, 06:07 AM
Sounds really neat.
Not trying to typecast or anything, but I had the feeling you would sooner write a fic with Mad Hatter as the antagonist. I'm guessing you'll get around to that eventually. Still I should've guessed it would've been Zsas by the title (it being scarred psyche, and all).
But yeah, looking forward to it.
P.S: If you're into horror, you might like some of my stories. I'd disclose it here, but I'm afraid it would upset some of the more queasy readers.
08-10-2010, 06:33 PM
Believe me..this story has one element that is horrifyinglyy grotesque.
And I meant for the title to portay Zsasz.
08-10-2010, 06:49 PM
Is the first chapter up?
08-10-2010, 07:31 PM
:Here it is...
Chapter 1: Origins of A Killer
---Gotham City, 1988---
The serene view over the majestic Gotham Bridge is wide and encompassing, rivalling the Brooklyn Bridge or the Golden Gate. The Gotham River, rushing at amazing speeds as it ferries ships and boats constantly to their new destinations, is the only passageway to and from Gotham's famous shipyards. Cars and motorcycles buzz over the suspended road, with sidewalks and paths lining the edges. One particular sight stands out on this particularly quiet Monday night: that of a man standing on the rail separating the walkways from the dirty, industrialized waters below. The man gulps in a mixture of fear and relief as he is about to end a life plagued by sadness and poverty.
Another man, however, walks up to him, as if to stop him from ending it all. However, he only extends a filthy hand towards the man on the rail, holding a can with a few coins in it.
"Could you spare a few coins for a homeless man?" pleads the pathetic figure.
The man on the rail responds that he doesnt have any left, as he gambled it all away, adding that even if he did have any, he surely wouldn't give it to a dirty old man on the street.
Suddenly, the old man goes crazy. He pulls out a rusty pocket knife and attacks the man on the rail, slashing at him. The younger man grabs the knife and jumps off the rail, glaring into the old man's eyes intently as they struggle. In the man's eyes he has a revelation: all life is meaningless. He suddenly realizes the only way to save these people from their pathetic lives is to kill them. With a swift thrust he plunges the knife into the man's skull, killing him instantly. He then lets the man fall to the ground without a touch of remorse. Smiling, he realizes that he must begin a quest of liberation, killing all those he deems worthy to escape the horrible lives they surely live.
The man then picks the knife up and slashes a deep cut into his forearm. The pain, he realizes, is like the pain Jesus felt on the cross; he, too, is a martyr. He looks at
the sky and laughs, a small giggle bursting into peals of hideous laughter. He then runs off, now a murderer. The man is deranged. The man is dangerous.
The man is Victor Zsasz.
Hope you liked it! Chapter 2 in the next day or two! :D:D:D
08-11-2010, 04:57 AM
just wanted to tell you guys that I'll be putting up my published short horror story Dark Shadows on the Community Chat forum.
It's about a man who kills his wife and daughters in a rage and, while in prison, begins to go insane because he beliees he sees their shadows and hears their voices. It's a creepy, eerie story and I'd appreciate you guys checking it out. I'll put up Part 1 tonite (I wrote it a long time ago for a local periodical, so I can just copy and paste)
08-11-2010, 06:33 PM
Time for me to put up Dark Shadows!
08-13-2010, 07:27 PM
Okay guys! Pleaseeeee comment on this bc I'd like to hear some ways I can improve my writing or things you like about it! POST!
Here's Chapter 2.
Chapter 2: A Horrible Sight
---A hotel in Gotham City, Present Day---
Detective James Morrell walked downstairs to the lobby to meet the other forensic investigators and the media. Damn, what a crowd. Who the hell cares about some prostitute's murder anyway? This city has enough murders each night to empty the police stations with extra left over, yet every cop seems to be here. Morrell thought. Must be the grisly nature of this one that draws the media. They're like sharks; the more blood, the more that come. It's like these things are events in Gotham. And blood there was. A young prostitute in a hotel room, found with her throat slit and posed with her clothes off. Whoever did this clearly rented her out. She got more than just the playtime. he thought.
"Hey Morrell, come tak a look at this!" Johnson. Why won't he shut the hell up and let me do my work?
"Yeah, yeah, I'm comin!" Probably gonna show me some dried hunk of toothpaste in the bathroom sink and claim that it's "evidence".
"What? I don't have time for---" Detective Morrell stopped in his tracks. There, written on the vanity mirror, was a strange and chilling message. It read:
"I HAVE MY FIRST MARK. I WILL TAKE MY SECOND VERY SOON! THE ZOMBIES CANNOT ESCAPE THEIR FATE!"
"What the hell does it mean? What is his "mark"? And what are "zombies"?" Morrell asked.
"Not sure. All we can discern is the weapon was a long knife, probably a butcher knife, and that the TOD was about 2 hours ago."
What's in here? thought Morrell as he opened the drawer of the vanity.
Can't see all the way back there. Have to feel around. Hmm, just a lipstick tube.
"Nothin in there, huh?" asked Johnson wearily. Wait, that doesnt feel like a lip stick tube! That feels like a--- oh my god, oh my god...
"OH MY GOD! JOHNSON, GET IN HERE, NOW!"
"What is it?"
"This isn't a lipstick tube. It's...it's...it's a FINGER!" And so it was. Morrell pulled out the stiff, cold pinkie finger of the young woman. And to their shock and horror, not a drop of blood came out.
"Oh Jesus Christ! Get that thing away from me!" Johnson screamed.
"No, no...no wait! Why is there no blood in the finger? Oh no. Ohhhh no. He used the finger to write the message! Morrell almost threw up.
"See, Johnny, look! All the blood's gone! And the finger is the exact same size as the thickness of the lines! And plus, the writing is red!"
"We are dealing with a madman here, Jack. We need to take this finger into the lab, as well as dust the surface of the desk for prints. Let's go, let's go guys!"
Morrell, however, had to walk away. He felt queasy.Why didn't I take that job in Keystone City? he thought as he tried to put as much distance between him and that awful tragedy as possible.
Hope you guys liked it. Remember, POST! :D :D :D
P.S. Have a good Friday the 13th! :p :p :p
08-13-2010, 10:25 PM
that was very creepy lol, i like it, but the only problem is, you are not posting them fast enough :D
08-15-2010, 08:01 PM
Next Chapter 3 up tomorrow night! POST REVIEWS!
08-16-2010, 02:31 PM
I really like it Batter. Reminds me of a horror movie in a sense, which is a good thing in my book, and I am assuming it is in your seeing that your going for the un-nerving deaths and such. I'm starting to post the Chapters to Revolved, so when I am not writing, and if I get free time soon when the next Chapter is up I will read, and review. You can review mine if you would like, but you are most likely busy with writings of your own. :)
08-18-2010, 08:28 PM
I'll start by saying that I am SOOOO SORRY :flowers: for not posting. I got a virus from a stupid chain letter email, and it completely shut down the PC. After repeated attempts to de-bug my PC, I've given up, which is why I'm typing this on my laptop and installing a spybot service. To make up for my absence, I've made the third chapter now.
Chapter 3: The Roommate
---Gotham City University, Chi Omega Sorority House---
Dammit, thought sophomore Kate Walsh as she walked across the street to the sorority. What a night. I get humiliated by Charlie Thompson at the party, get mud on my favorite high tops, and spill wine on the best dress I own. I need to lie down. She unlocked the door to Chi Omega's house and walked through the double doors leading into the sitting room. Hmmph, noone's home. They're all still at the party drinking and dancing and having a good time. Hell, Ashley's probably flirting with Charlie right now, they always had a thing for each other. Lucky Ashley. At least Laura is probably here, up in our room studying for that calc exam on Monday. She was never much of a party girl. Kate walked upstairs and turned the corner into the dimly lit hallway. There, she stopped and lifted the hem of her dress to assess the damge done by the red wine. This was my best party dress, too. I wore it for Charlie tonight, but... no, don't think about that. I'll just go see how Laura's doing before getting this into the wash. "Laura? You there?" Hah, probably so intent on studying that she's not even aware of my arrival. I'll surprise her. Kate walked in on Laura laying on the bed reading her text book. "Hey, girl, c'mon, at least say hi to your BFF! Take a break from the---" Kate suddenly, instinctively rolled Laura over to find a horrible sight. Her throat had been slit. Blood gushed out of the wound and dripped onto the bed. Her eyes were open and her mouth was wtisted into a shocking, screaming mask of horror and pain. And on her textbook were the words:
" HELLO, KATE. I DECIDED TO VISIT YOUR FRIEND HERE. YOU SEE, SHE WAS LEADING A MEANINGLESS, DREADFUL LIFE. HERE AT HER BED STIDYING FOR A TEST WHILE ALL HER FRIENDS ARE OUT HAVING FUN, SLAVING HERSELF FOR THE SYSTEM OF EDUCATION, LIKE A GOOD LITTLE ZOMBIE. TOO BAD YOU
WERE WITH CHARLIE. YOU MIGHT HAVE SAVED HER! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!
And with that, Kate fainted dead away.
08-19-2010, 08:10 PM
I took a night off tonight mostly because I don't have the brain energy to think of the next chapter cause i just finished my last baseball game of the season.
I have 5 wins and 3 losses as a pitcher and our team (The Zephyrs) is 14-18. (We suck) :P
I'll post Chapter 4 tomorrow!
08-20-2010, 07:46 PM
I've decided something..I'm shutting down Scarred Psyche for awhile to work on the patient interviews.
I'll get back on it sometime in the next few weeks...
No ones reading so I decided to get back to my more popular endeavor.
I'll post an interview now!
08-23-2010, 01:09 PM
Pretty good, I am liking this.
More interesting than the patient interviews IMO
08-23-2010, 07:58 PM
Kay then I'll keep it moving.
Chapter 4 PT 1: Speak No More
"Hello, 911, what is your emergency?"
*panicked* "I-- mm--my house!"
"What about your house?"
"Some--someone in my house!"
"Someone's in your house?"
"Yes! YES! He's coming!"
"Stay calm. Where are you?"
"1398 Maybin Avenue! Hurry! He's in my living room!"
"I'm dispatching a police unit right now! Where are you in your house?"
"Stay there and DON'T MOVE!"
"Okay, okay! I'll sta--Oh my god!" He's-- he's coming upstairs!"
"Police will be there in a few minutes! Just stay where you are!"
"He's going into the bedroom now! He's in the bedroom!"
"You're in the attic! He won't find you!"
"You--you don't understand! The attic door is in the bedroom!"
"Just stay put and police will be there soon!"
"HE'S OPENING THE ATTIC DOOR! AAAAAHHHH!"
"Ma'am, ma'am I--"
*whispering as she hides behind some luggage* "He's got a knife! He's horrible! No, NO!"
*man's raspy voice* "Where are you?" I'll find you. Don't worry."
"Ma'am, ma'am what's happen--"
*screaming* "He found me! He's found me! Oh my God! He's coming at me with the kni--"
*slashing and gurgling sound with laughter ringing in the background*
"Oommphuurgle lauumph Huuh guh muh tuh! Huh guh muh tuh! Huh cuth uh muh tuh!"
*slicing sound and a faint scream, then silence*
*timidly whispering* "Ma'am? Ma'am?"
*man's voice* "SHE SHALL SPEAK NO MORE!" I HAVE MY 23RD TALLY! YOU CAN NEVER STOP ME! I WILL DROWN GOTHAM IN ITS BLOOD!"
08-24-2010, 02:11 PM
08-24-2010, 07:17 PM
im sorry...i don't understand. what's Cooo mean?
08-25-2010, 02:02 PM
I think he means "cool".
08-25-2010, 02:25 PM
I think he means "cool".
08-27-2010, 04:07 PM
nice dude, im liking it, im looking forward to seeing it get deeper it to the story,
I thing i could suggest more for me then the quility of the story is that it come do with more detail, you seem to have a clear direction for the story and have set up some cool seens but when your introducing characters or areas try letting yout imagenation run weild describe as much as you can, who they look, the cloths, they voice, detail the enviroment around them.... as a reader i try to imagen this story in my mind and the more details you can add to the framework the clear that image of the story and world your trying to create becomes :) keep up the good work, its not often we get a ZSASZ story :)
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