The Zoo Boy
06-13-2010, 09:15 PM
I have a story my grandma told me. Once upon a time there was a little boy named Pobsta. Pobsta lived in a pob house and his friend Mikey P. gave him the nickname of Pobby. One day Pobby, his Albanian pet keyboard, and Mikey went for a walk on Bubby Chinco's Octopus Mountain. There they found dead Polish camels and purple Swiss cheese. When Pobby said hello to Will Smith's constipated cow, a drunk Lindsay Lohan ate a fat Swedish lemon. After pretty boy Alejandro killed the sexy Lady GaGa, loveable Ricky Rami waited for the prophect of the holy ham at the well of Albert Wesker in the name of Wiggy. All of a sudden, Pobby heard movement in the bushes. It was the great and mighty Dan and he was eating a pear. After they went to the mighty N-lyger for a "good time", they went to Germany to see a prophet named Driber. Little did they know that Driber was captured by Bill Williamson. Led by Rico Rodriguez, Pobby gathered a gang including John Marston and Fabio. Fabio was poor, but he had a bison so it was okay. Before the big battle, Fabio was shot with a rocket propelled rocket and everyone became a sad panda and milked a kangaroo. After the racoons were harvested in order to make mashed potatoes, a gorilla named Taildan and a dog named Dayd were arrested for arson by Chuck Norris. When Pobby was about to give up, he heard a voice calling his name. It was God, or as he called himself, Movura. He told Pobby never to give up and to believe in his heart. Pobby was inspired but then he got hit by a yellow elephant. Pobby was in the hospital for 192 centuries, until Pasta Huggy healed him by pooping on his elbows. When Sam Fisher died, Pobby took his place as the new Splinter Cell, fighting alongside Master Chief. Little did Pobby know, but Master Chief was his old friend Mikey P. Instead of guns, they used red pillows and pictures of Paris Hilton to fight the ultimate enemy, Bolo Santosi. After Bolo was destroyed a strange man codenamed "Oldman" instructed Pobby to take the one of a kind Leisure Liner to his great-great grandson, Keir. After the task was done, Keir let Pobby play with his son Chip. When Pobby was done, he then went to a Japanese car wash where a man named Voochinkicohasdvifgu Obama worked, After the car wash, he was given a massage by a retarded white shark named Sol Rosenburg. When that was over with, Pobby fell in love with a woman named Havashada de Asakliyopado, or Havi for short. Havi worked for a group of assassin's led by two brothers, Altair ibn a'lhad and Ezio Auditore da Firenze. After a few decades, Havi became pregnant. Pobby named his son Wasabi after his favorite thing to put on his favorite food: dead cockroaches, mixed with fava beans, and sprinkled with yiggyjappy juice. After a while, Wasabi grew up and realized he had pus filled boils on his bottom. When they burst, a small MGILF (midget grandpa id like to fly with) named Bruce Wayne popped out. After this strange scene, Natch Fatch, a local firefighter was arrested for keeping zombies in his socks. After he was released 43 years later, he decide to get revenge on the person who framed him (Ima Hogg) by eating all of the oboes in the world. When all the oboes were eaten, Wasabi asked Pobby where babies came from. Pobby called Havi and they demonstrated for Wasabi on where babies came from and this made Wasabi want to become a chef at Mababhop's Gourmet Restaurant. Five hundred and blue grapes later, and Pobby was diaganosed with a severe disease called Fernsagade. This is when you do not mlk enough penguins in your lifetime. Because of this Pobby went to Australia and milked all of the penguins he could find. Once he was cured, he died of a chicken nugget attack. This caused Megan Fox to go into a rage and she decided to punish the world by stripping live on American Idol and making it be recorded and given to everyone in the world as a DVD for free to be punished. MC Hammar thought this was too harsh a punishment so instead he took away everyone's Barbie dolls. When all of the polar bears attacked Al Gore for being too lumpy, Billy Mayes mooned the CEO of British Petroleom. This caused everyone in the world to be rickrolled, resulring in many homicides and suicides. After that Evil Vampire Robot Nazis who are also Zombies decided to got sxephil's house and get a "little bit rapey". Before he was deadz, Clint Eastwood played Ultra BAMF of the day and tried to save him, but failed so a t-shirt vendor had to save him instead. This confusion caused mass panic, and everyone who was born on Jakalogop became infected with swine flu. After Bob Saget cured everyone, Willis finally announced what he was talking about. He was talking about Jack Bauer, which was the result of Godzilla and King Kong mating. Pobby's cousin, Seymour Butts died due to Ipod posioning, and was buried in Grant's tomb. This made Kanye West mad, so he decided to destroy every trucker hat in Alaska. This caused an epidemc, and people were instructed to take small children by the hand and head to the nearest bomb shelter. After the chaos was over and the donuts were eaten, Wasabi told his newly wed wife Bobo the Clown that he wanted 12 kids. This made Bobo happy as a fat fish in a cotton candy farm, so thety had their children and named them all either George, Busto, Guavo, Gaston, or Condum. This made Britney Spears happy, so she decided to turn into a Canada goose and fly to Iran. Then, UFC champion codename Egyptian Magician announced that in aisle 7, there is a legit muffin, just waiting to be eaten by someone who owns a Xbox 360 and is named Kris. Kris ate the muffin, and turned into a scrunchable sniffible smurf. This made Wasabi bring Pobby back to life, and they all lived happily ever after. And that my friends, is why when your turn on your television, there is always a box of bran flakes right next to the remote control.
True story, I was there, I know.
True story, I was there, I know.