View Full Version : Euphemismis Anyone?
I got a good laugh out of this, I hope you do, too. It seems I have to relearn my own language . . .
Euphemisms...or 'euphemismus', the insidious infiltration of a distressing tendency to use obfuscating words and terms to describe things.
1. Traffic-calming road insertions...road bumps
2. In-depth interrogation...torture
3. Visual harassment...staring
Especially of interest to the writers here:
4. Unacknowledged repetitions...plagiarism, or
5. Derivative passages...plagiarism, or
6. Inadvertently copying long sections of someone else's work and using it as your own...plagiarism
7. Roster management...eliminating male athletes and adding females
8. Verbal abuse...criticism
9. Linguistic domestic violence...criticism of a wife
10. Abductees in Africa...slaves
11. Tribal Chieftan...non-english speaking leader you admire
12. Warlord...non-english speaking leader you do NOT admire
13. Self-sacrificing freedom fighters...suicide bombers
14. Targeting process error...killed a lot of civilians
15. Tree density reduction...chopping down every tree in sight
Something a lot of us find very familiar:
16. Isolated reflection interval...time out
17. Mandatory discontinued attendance...suspension
18. Cultural genocide...correcting a student's non-standard English
19. Cosmetically saturated...wearing too much makeup
20. Fragrance abuse...wearing too much perfume
21. Olfactory assault...wearing too much perfume
22. Action figures...dolls for boys
23. Spouse equivalent...lover
Now then...what are some of your favorites?
Disorderly Conduct
12-10-2002, 10:43 AM
*ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZ*
*being pushed awake*
What? It's over?
Booooooooooooring. Your idea of funny is more stale than a plate of salad croutons.:rolleyes:
How sad that one must be able to read in order to appreciate witty humor not based somewhere in the lower depths of the sewer.
And I had so hoped to entertain...
*juggles stale salad croutons while whistling ''Me and my shadow' and tapdancing around the room*
Disorderly Conduct
12-12-2002, 06:28 PM
I appriciate witty humor. The point is, this is not humorous.
Here's a euphemism for you since you appriciate "thinking" humor. "Turn the fence screw - go screw a fence."
Excuse me...was that an euphemism or an attempt to make a smutty rejoinder?
I guess you have to BE an euphemism like you are to be able to evaluate them.
Disorderly Conduct
12-12-2002, 08:46 PM
Excuse me...was that an euphemism or an attempt to make a smutty rejoinder?
You're the one who was "too good for MENSA." You figure it out.
I guess you have to BE an euphemism like you are to be able to evaluate them.
Hey, is it my fault that the mere mention of my name is a euphemism for "incredibly handsome?"
Prove it! Post a picture of you. Oh? You want one of me? Dream on . . .
http://www.free-cdsoftware.com/i/index.gif
Disorderly Conduct
12-13-2002, 10:05 PM
Please woman. Nothing wants to see your mug. Even the mirror takes a shower after it reflects your image out of dirty shame.
Apparently you have neither shower or mirror...people can smell you for blocks if they are unfortunate enough to be downwind when you pass by.
Open sewer drains flinch and pull their putrid puddles closer to avoid the contamination of your presence.
Mouze1
12-14-2002, 08:35 AM
Whoa, looks like the ugly fairy has slapped both cheeks of the attitudes here.
Perhaps an isolated reflection interval and mandatory discontued attendance of the subject should be abandoned.
WHAT did you say, Mouze?
http://www.free-cdsoftware.com/i/index.gif
Mouze1
12-14-2002, 08:46 AM
Sometimes it is extremely difficult to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person. I know I seldom battle. Had all my wits scared out of me.
Moggraider
12-14-2002, 12:51 PM
Sure is good to have things back to normal.
Disorderly Conduct
12-14-2002, 10:19 PM
How to argue with Dell...
Worked for me. (http://hugin.sigusr1.org/~pakin/complaint)
WARNING!
Don't click on that link! It is a trap for the unwary. It will plant a nasty DC type virus in your computer and you will forevermore be unable to write a coherent and logical word!
DC, you are the absolute worst!
Oh, by the way. . .
http://d21c.com/AnnesPlace/Winter/HockeyPlayers.gif
"Yeah, and a Merry Christmas to you, too, Disorderly Conduct!"
*hits him up alongside the head with hockey stick*
TiadaghtonDude
12-15-2002, 02:33 PM
I have to give Scott Pakin credit. Those random ramblings ARE pretty amusing
Actually, they are pretty appropriate. Consider this:
"If you can go more than a minute without hearing him talk about phallocentrism, you're either deaf, dumb, or in a serious case of denial. It is certainly the height of ironies that M. Conduct's zingers all stem from one, simple, faulty premise -- that the Earth is flat and he rules it."
Couldn't have said it better...and I didn't.
Mouze1
12-15-2002, 03:51 PM
A yeah :confused: what she said.
Disorderly Conduct
12-15-2002, 08:43 PM
"If you can go more than a minute without hearing him talk about phallocentrism, you're either deaf, dumb, or in a serious case of denial. It is certainly the height of ironies that M. Conduct's zingers all stem from one, simple, faulty premise -- that the Earth is flat and he rules it."
And now the point of all that which made me laugh...
M. Conduct's
M. Conduct's. Ha. Leave it to a MENSA drop out to mess up when filling out the form and put "Mr" where the persons first name should be. You really should STOP trying to insult my intelligence. You're obviously not the brightest penny in the pile yourself Dell.
DC, you are so pathetic. I was doing you the gracious honor of calling you by the honorific of MR. Conduct, trying of course to keep it on a somewhat higher level here.
You remember my battle slogan, I'm sure:
"Always take the high ground in a battle situation. In a verbal duel, take the moral high ground."
Of course, that does pose a problem here seeing as how you have no morals other than those you are slowly learning from me the hard way. Oh well, take your bruises and lumps, loser, and learn.
http://www.free-cdsoftware.com/i/index.gif
Moggraider
12-20-2002, 04:52 PM
Happy Holidays, you bastard.
Well-
I'm drinkin' whiskey. :)
Moggraider, just who were you calling the big B word? Or were you meaning it generically...so that anyone who feels it is aimed at them will squirm a little?
Happy Birthday and Happy Holidays, 3car. And don't fall in that bottle, please.
*Sniffs the air. I must be upwind...don't smell Disorderly Conduct anywhere in the immediate area. Getting hit in the head with a hockey stick must have brought a bit of enlightenment do you think?*
Nightstalker
12-23-2002, 07:39 AM
I think so Dell. Maybe he went back to sleep.
*What is that NOISE?!?!?*
I kinda liked the humor (In the first post). Here is a bit more humor:
What is the definition of a teacher?
...
...
He/She helps you solve problems you would not have without him/her.
Or this one:
School...Hard labor camp
George W. Bush...Non standard warlord
Non standard warlord...English speaking leader some do NOT admire
Sorry about the last one, I just couldn't resist.
Nightstalker.
PS. Dell please check my chapter part soon.
PS 2. It's good to know that things are back to normal here.
PS 3. Mouze: Dell and DC have a long and often violent history behind them.
Nightstalker
12-23-2002, 07:55 AM
About battles:
Sun Tzu said: Know thy enemy and know thy yourself and you can win a battle even with inferior force.
Nightstalker.
Oh indeed we do, Mouse, indeed we do have a long history. It actually dates way back to my first few months at FFVII...or even on the internet...a naive neophyte I was...he and TOSG fell upon me like ravening foul-mouthed wolves. Then, it carried on through another forum, too.
He drops back in occasionally and tries to beat up on me...unsuccessfully these days, as you can see! But he always manages somehow to irritate me...
Mouze1
12-27-2002, 06:24 PM
Interesting. I know Dell, have for sometime now.
However I don't know this person refered to as "Disorderly Conduct", or DC if you prefer.:confused:
So if someone could enlighten me as to how I could have a long- standing argument, or dislike for anyone I would surely like to know.:rolleyes:
I was only joking around with Dell in my posts.
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